Gaming Target - Xbox: Speed Kings

Written by Adam Woolcott on August 14, 2003

Full Review: It's like Burnout, only Burnout doesn't suck.

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Take one parts Burnout, replace hot rods with crotch rockets, and mate it with the classic Road Rash series. Put a developer behind the game who has recently gained respect for an excellent motorcycle-racing engine in charge of the project and the folks at Acclaim should be able to do that rolling around naked in money thing. On paper, Speed Kings sounded like a huge hit that would further cement the Burnout franchise as one of the strongest in the racing genre

Alas, they don't play video games on paper.

Despite being hyped as УBurnout on bikesФ and Acclaim recruiting Climax, the developers of Moto GP (not the ones behind Sudeki, damn confusing developers) to develop the game, Speed Kings can only be considered a monumental failure. Instead of a white knuckle motorcycle game with crazy crashes that send the rider tumbling ahead at high speeds and death-defying traffic evading, Speed Kings ends up being a highly sanitized Road Rash clone that is about as exciting as watching the Cincinnati Bengals 2002 season highlight video. Despite such a solid pedigree for exciting racing games, Speed Kings falls flat, in nearly every category.

Speed Kings does come loaded with options; single and multiplayer races, time attacks, etc. It also has a pretty deep УcareerФ with a solid batch of races and events. If you somehow find the game thrilling enough to play and get into, Speed Kings does have some replay value. Amusingly (or sadly), SK does not have a custom soundtrack option, despite it being listed on the back of the box. I looked all over the options and found nothing, and unless it's some unlockable extra (and, uhЕpray tell why you lock up the custom soundtrack feature as an extra? That's absurd), it's been omitted.

Fans of Burnout won't take too long to get the game down as far as a learning curve, as Speed Kings feels very similar. In each race, you not only go against a clock arcade-style, not only against about a half-dozen other riders, but also have to deal with traffic at every turn that doesn't get out of your way, and a collision can cost you valuable seconds late in a race. SK also borrows some tricks from Road Rash, letting you get close to a rider and knock his sorry ass off the bike and cost him those important seconds. Like Burnout, you can get into a УzoneФ that gives you a speed burst and either extend your lead or take advantage and try to catch up to the others ahead of you. There's also something called a Powerdown that lets you slow to avoid an obstacle, such as a falling tree, or giving you time to slide underneath a semi-truck instead of seeing if you can create an outline of your corpse on the trailer. When a Powerdown is necessary, the game will warn you, though it is entirely optional if you enjoy smacking against a big semi-truck.

The sad thing about Speed Kings is, when you look up at that paragraph and imagine the action, you can't help but wonder how anyone could possibly screw this all up. Unfortunately, it's all been screwed up. Excitement has been replaced with boredom, challenge has been replaced with stupidity, and the only joy you'll find in this game is when you get some decent in-store credit when you trade it in. While I've played more than my fair share of sanitized, dumbed-down racing games that are as thrilling as a 24 hour marathon of Gigli, Speed Kings has to rank right up there.

Excitement and thrills are the most lacking element here. As in, Speed Kings has zero. Not only are the track designs mundane and lacking any sort of clever tricks, the action on the track is very laid back and nowhere as intense as a Burnout-style game should be. While it's always possible to get into a wreck, it doesn't carry the impact of a Burnout crash. There's no spectacle or cringe factor, instead it's just an annoyance as you get back in the bike and try to make up for lost time. The computer opponents are lazy and very robotic, tending to get into wrecks way more often than you, making the races much easier. Within just an hour I probably blew through half the game without barely trying, and practically dozing off from the watered-down action, as the sense of speed that's comparable to driving in a School Zone.

The worst thing though? Just how generic Speed Kings is. Unquestionably, this was a cash-in on Burnout'sЕahemЕacclaim (but not sales), hoping some poor, gullible gamer read somewhere about it being Burnout on bikes, imagining a brilliant, thrilling racer, only to find this game. There's been a whole lot worse games, without question, and Speed Kings can have some redeeming multiplayer value and perhaps find the Road Rash audience (no wonder EA wants to revive RR, after seeing this game), the game simply doesn't have enough thrills to satisfy most racing gamers looking for a quick fix. It's a real shame, as Speed Kings, under proper guidance and perhaps a different developer (why not Criterion?) could really have been a great, exciting racer.

In addition to the unimpressive gameplay, Speed Kings also carries unimpressive graphics that wouldn't even look good on the Dreamcast. Some parts are nice, like a few decent lighting effects, the rest of the game is bland looking. A solid frame-rate does exist throughout, but that can't be hard with substandard animations and models for bikes and characters, and poor details in the environments. It doesn't help that the sense of speed is about nil, feeling more like a bicycle race instead of a motorcycle race.

The sound isn't much better. Because of the non-existent custom soundtrack option, you're stuck with the standard in-game music. Sadly, that in-game music is awful and cringe-worthy. You're better off muting the TV and playing your own custom soundtrack on a radio or CD player than force yourself to listen to the forgettable music in Speed Kings. On the other hand, there are some average to decent motorcycle sound effects, with realistic engine noises and the sounds of skidding, and the sounds when you make impact are okay. Normally, it wouldn't matter as the soundtrack would drown everything out, but in Speed Kings, this isn't an option.