Gaming Target - Dreamcast: Seaman

Written by Nick Schmidt on September 21, 2000

Review: Want a friend? Well, get a life...then get Seaman

Seaman would be a perfect sit-com star. He has all the potential needed to become the next Seinfeld. I know this sounds kind of odd and a tad bit drastic at the same time, but if you think about it long and hard (don't strain yourself now), you can almost see our favorite fish/man hybrid making us laugh every Wednesday night at nine pm. I mean, he's got the looks (Just take a glance at his charismatic smile and smooth scales and I dare you to tell me otherwise), he's got the humor (he zings out some witty remarks at your expense), and he certainly has the all-important attitude. Seaman will make fun of you if he so desires and will let you know when you're doing a bad job of taking care of him. And you know what? You'll love every minute of it.

As soon as you start off by pressing the power button, our good buddy Leonard Nemoy welcomes you, otherwise know as "Spock" from Star Trek. Leonard serves a crucial purpose in Seaman, he tells you what to do and gives many hints at how to do it. You should most likely listen to his advice. Every time you turn it on, he'll usually tell you how things are going with Seaman and/or hint at what he needs. And just like the little gill-men, Nemoy will zip out some funny one-liners directed solely at you. Stuff like, "You visit often (on your third or so visit that day). If one didn't know better, one might assume you are quite obsessive, or have nothing better to do." Hey! I spent $50 on this game; I'm going to get some good use out of it!

Anyways, after your first confrontation with Mr. Star Trek, the game begins. The first glimpse of the tank is a rather uninspired one. Everything's pitch black, foggy, and uninhabited. This is where your master "parenting skills" come in. You'll begin by switching the light on (duh!) and you'll have to toggle the air and heat to make the environment 100% suitable for Seaman. Get used to this, because you'll be messing with these factors constantly throughout Seaman's existence.

Starting out is somewhat awkward considering the clumsy interface. You have an on-screen cursor similar to a mouse cursor on a computer. The cursor performs all the basic functions in the aquarium; picking up stuff, tickling, and flicking (boy oh boy is it hilarious when you flick them in the face!). This seems easy, and for the most part it is, but when you first start out and have to take the Seaman egg out of the inventory, the button usage absolutely makes no sense. To pick up stuff, you have to hold X, then hold the R trigger. They should of made just one freakin' button for it. But after a few more days, you get accustom to the stupid controls. Okay, so they really aren't stupid per say, just... inept.

Now with your trusty mic nestled safely in controller slot 2, it's time to talk to Seaman and get to know him better. But what's that? I have to wait? Indeed. Seaman isn't one of those games that you pop in and have instant action spouting across the screen. In fact, it really isn't a game when you think about it, it's a virtual pet sim. You'll have to invest a few days until you can actually hold a coherent conversation. The first two days are simply checking up on them and seeing how things are going. After a couple more days or so, their vocabulary will begin to grow as they kill each other off. Natural selection is a bitch, eh?

I think it's painfully obvious from the screens that Seaman isn't the next Soul Calibur in terms of graphical prowess. This is just a simple tank with a few fish after all; Vivarium wasn't going for wonders. But after you care for them for a while, you'll start to note the graphics really are above average. I'm not talking about the tank here, that's just black, but the fish themselves look eerily similar to the real thing (minus the human face of course). Textures, colors, and shadows all combine into one vivid and reasonable portrayal of underwater life. When he talks, you'll be astounded with the fluidity of his mouth moving perfectly with his speech, and when he gives you that weird grin only a Seaman can do, you'll be creped out in a surprisingly satisfied way. Even his mannerisms are spot-on in portrayal. The only grumble I have against this game graphically is the shoddy collision detection in some instances. A few times my Seaman went halfway through the floor and other times he slid right through the plants. This could have easily been improved.

Sound wise this game is a treat. Aside from the great Leonard Nemoy, Seaman's voice is as dynamic as it is annoying. As he starts off in the helpless infant state, he basically speaks all gibberish. You won't be able to understand his foreign tongue; at least for now. Days pass, Seaman's vocabulary grows and his voice matures in leaps and bounds. First sounding like a child mere days ago, he will soon sound like a middle-aged man with bladder problems. Cranky with a vengeance seems to be the best description. But for some reason, I love the little guys, even though Yoot Saito's vision is for players to hate Seaman.

There is one thing that I do hate (well, not hate, but dislike), and it's the voice recognition. I assume you already know by now that you talk to Seaman through the packed in microphone (I did mention it before). The more you talk to Seaman, the faster he evolves. But the problem is a lot of the time he doesn't understand what you're saying, which in turn makes him mad. Other times he'll just reply with something that has nothing to do with the conversation. Thankfully it only messes up about a quarter of the time, leaving you plenty to talk about in between blunders. Just don't go expecting him to explain the theory of relativity.

When it all comes down to it, Seaman isn't one of those games that you just sit down and play for hours and hours upon end. Boy would that get boring. Instead, it's more of like an experience that only should be enjoyed in small half our increments at a time. Just as a real pet, neglect can turn your buddy into a mean-spirited tike. Although you could just visit once a day, drop in a piece of food, talk to him and be on your way in five minutes; but that's just plain wrong. Seaman needs love for him to evolve and grow, and he doesn't want just any love, he wants you. So please, do us all a favor and give this half fish, half man, but all companion the care he so admirably deserves. Do it for the children.