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Are you going to buy an Xbox One X This Holiday Season?

Hope to Receive it as a Gift

 Written by Arthur Hughes  on June 19, 2001

Sonic Vs Mario: The battle you've all been waiting for has arrived, and we've got the exclusive

Sonic Vs Mario The battle you've all been waiting for has arrived, and we've got the exclusive This is the battle that you the readers have been asking for. That's right and we have it for you. Our two competitors today have been training over that past few months to get ready for this battle. Sonic has been upset since the days of genesis when Mario edged him out in the 16bit battle and rubbed it in buy putting a 16ft billboard in Sonics front lawn saying ?You will never be the best?. Mario on the other hand, has been mad at Sonic for talking about his mama's weight problem and starting a rumor about him and Luigi having intimate encounters.

Well as you can see from the numbers Mario seems to have the advantage over the smaller lighter sonic.

Sonic Mario
Height 5'7? 6'0?
Weight 125lbs 195lbs
Reach 28? 35?
Body fat % 4% 21%
Age 10 30

On a side note this was suppose to be a royal rumble with Crash Bandicoot as well but, he supposedly got a bad case of turf toe and will be out of action for the next year. After we got news of Crash's withdrawal from the fight we sent in an undercover agent to scope out Crash's house. Our secret agent found Crash doing ballet in a pink tutu and has photos to prove it (we'll have the photos up later in the week).

We have just received word that our two fighters have entered the building and are in there respective locker rooms, we'll take you down there for pre-fight interview. First we're heading over to Sonic locker room to see what he has to say about the fight.

Ryan: ?So, Sonic what do you have about Mario being the favorite??

Sonic: ?They're just choosing him because he is bigger. Wait till they see what this little guy? err? animal can do.?

Ryan: ?Who will you have in the corner with you tonight??

Sonic: ?Well I've chosen Tails to be me in my corner for moral support. And Amy, for well, a little female lovin?err?.support.?

Ryan: ?What is your prediction on the fights out come??


Well we know that Sonic is pumped and ready to fight, lets see how Mario is doing.

Ryan: ?Mario your opponent seems pumped and ready to fight, are you nervous??

Mario: ?Nervous? By a little blue hedgehog? NEVER! ?

Ryan: ?I know you originally wanted to put three people in your corner but the commissioner stepped in and said you could only have two. Have you decided who you were going to put in your corner??

Mario: ?Yes that's right, I wanted to have Princess, Toad, and Luigi in my corner but, I've decided to take Toad out and have my brother and lifetime love in the corner with me.?

Ryan: ?Any predictions for the fight tonight??

Mario: ?Put it this way we're going to have hedgehog kabobs tonight at my place, poolside

All of the 100 million viewers out there wont be disappointed with the fight tonight. Both competitors seem confident that they will win and will put forth all the effort it takes to do it. Here in the stadium tonight we have over 250,000 fans waiting patiently for their favorite video game character to come out of their respective tunnels. Mario emerges first with most of the crowd erupting with excitement as Mario walks down the aisle to the ring. The rest of the crowd erupts as Sonic walks out of his tunnel and down to the ring.

Both fighters are wearing their respective colors, with Sonic being in blue and Mario being in red. The two combatants come to the middle of the ring where Matt Swider is standing to give the pre-fight instructions: ?I know there is a lot of anger between you two but you must keep the fight clean. There will be no hitting below the belt and no use of foreign objects. Now both of you shake hands, head back to your corners and get ready to come out fighting at the sound of the bell?

Sonic and Mario go back to their respective corners and wait for the bell. ?DING? both fighters make there way to the center of the ring and start throwing a few jabs. It's looking like the two are shaping up their opponents, trying to find their weakness. This goes on for a few until Sonic makes the first move, Sonic steps back, shouts, ?In the name of my father! NAKA-SAN!? and dashes at his opponent at full speed. Mario steps to the side and trips Sonic watching him go flying out of the ring and into the crowd. The crowd erupts into laughter; Sonic embarrassed, staggers out of the crowd and next to ringside. Sonic quickly jumps up on to the ropes, catapults himself high in the air and smacks Mario straight across the kisser, Mario staggers back.

Mario is now furious and starts to glow a bright red and jumps back and high into the air and shoots a fury of fireballs at Sonic. Sonic dodges the first few but is finally hit by one and catches ablaze. Sonic now panicking, drops to the ground and starts rolling and gets the fire out before much damage is done. ?DING? that's the end of round 1, and a great round it was. I wonder how long these two gladiators of the console will last. Oh wait its almost time for the 2nd round to start. ?DING? the two combatants once again come out of their corner and are ready to fight. The two warriors are attacking with frenzy, but can't seem to land anything. Mario has been jumping and shooting off fireballs while Sonic has been spin dashing left and right to avoid his onslaught. Finally Sonic makes a move, he launches him self into the air and grabs, then throws Mario towards the corner of the ring. Mario is dazed, Sonic dashes at Mario and nails him dead-on, flinging him high up into the air.

Sonic then runs and grabs onto the corner post and spins around it several times, releases from the pole just in time to catch Mario on his way down and nailing him right in his gut. Mario flies across the ring and into the post, Mario severely beaten, is somehow able to stand up, but Sonic, knowing the power, of his enemy doesn't stop. Sonic starts to run around the ring picking up speed and finally barrels into his opponent knocking him completely unconscious.

Immediately after Sonic's victory a crazed fan runs out of the crowd and into the ring and starts yelling ?I LOVE YOU SONIC? and starts kissing all over him. Security guards quickly apprehended the lunatic, later recognized as Akash Suri, and was taken down to the local police station. Stick around and we will have your post fight interviews with the winner Sonic The Hedgehog and the loser Mario.

Well we're here with the winner Sonic for the post fight interview.

Ryan: ?Your predictions were correct, how do you feel??

Sonic: ?I feel like the best! But it definitely wasn't easy, Mario was a fierce competitor and I have more respect for him now then I ever did before.?

Ryan: ? Do you think that your win will have an impact on the gaming world??

Sonic: ?I doubt you will see any difference in sales, but if you ever see a game with me and Mario in it, it's proven that I will be a better character?

Ryan: ?Do you think there will ever be a rematch??

Sonic: ?I would have to say more than likely, I like the fierce competition and I seriously doubt that Crash could ever give me a challenge?

Ryan: ?One last question, can I get your autograph, I mean can I get a autograph for my kid??

Sonic: ?I don't see why not.?

Ryan: ?WOOHOO!?

Well we are going to head over to Mario's locker room to see what he has to say about the fight.

Daniel: ?Mario you just lost to a animal how do you feel??

Mario: ?Pathetic, I wouldn't blame him for never letting this down after I put that billboard up in his front lawn.?

Daniel: ?Sonic has agreed to a rematch because he doesn't think that Crash will be any kind of a challenge, would you except??

Mario: ?Of course I would, I just think that I need to train better next time and lose some of this weight.?

Daniel: ?Is there still going to be a party at your house tonight??

Mario: ?What do you think??

Daniel: ?Darn it I was so looking forward to some barbecue.?

Mario: ?You know Daniel, I may have lost to Sonic, but I could nail you in the groin with a fireball right now.?

::::Daniel runs away::::

Wow, he's almost as fast as Sonic, ALMOST.

I hoped you guys and gals enjoyed tonight's fight as much as I did. Keep checking back with us for the possible rematch between these two gladiators of the console. Maybe we can even get Crash in on the next fight, unless of course he comes down with another so called ?injury? and cant make it.

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